Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Korea: Krazy Land of Kindness
posted by JayBandit @ 1:19 AM,
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I write you, my faithful dozen readers, now from the Peninsula of Korea; more specifically, I am currently in Changwon, which is approximately 25 kilometers southwest of Busan.
For every bit of cleanliness and formality there is in Japan, there is filth and disorder to the same degree here in Korea. Now, don’t get me wrong, Korea is not that dirty. However, some things are damn near crazy over here. Take driving for instance; people here subscribe to the thought that they always have the right of way. People go through red lights without blinking, they’ll turn right from the left lane, left from the right lane, and they won’t even stop if someone is walking through the intersection! The strategy I’ve learned is that whoever blinks first loses. The only thing these people have going for them is the fact that they drive on the right side of the road. This same haphazard style is evident in their walking. Japan also had this to some extent; however, people would get out of your way if they saw they were in it. In Korea, it won’t faze them for one second to just stop and stand in front of a mass of people trying to exit a building. My personal favorite is how they stop their cars on the side of the road, and turn their blinkers on and get out, as if to say, “it’s alright, I have my hazard lights ::waves::”.
This also gives the Koreans one of their better traits, which is undying kindness. They do whatever they can to make you happy; you can see in their faces that they do it because they really want to, and not because of some ritual formality. Everyone and their uncle wants to learn English, so they think nothing of walking up and trying to strike up a conversation with you. Women at bars will come up to you and talk, not in order to get a date or anything, but to simply practice English via conversation with a round-eye. Most of them are pretty good too. I think the reason is because of their friendliness they are not shy and don’t worry about making mistakes. I cannot tell you how many times the Japanese apologized for their poor English skills out of embarrassment. I always felt bad when they’d say something to that effect, and I would reply, “Well, your English is much better than my Japanese!” That usually got a good laugh and helped ease the tension.
Life is much easier during the “down” time here because there is a very large population of foreigners. I have an Irish pub just across the street from my hotel, and it caters to almost purely foreigners. The vast majority of them are English teachers; many are kids just out of college just trying to save up some money and gain a once in a lifetime experience while they’re at it. Some of them are much older, and they’re here for a plethora of reasons. The rest are engineers or technicians; Changwon has a large amount of manufacturing (Doosan, STX, Volvo, & Hyundai all have facilities nearby). To be honest, this place seems to be what Pittsburgh, PA or Gary, IN used to be like before the US steel industry collapsed. My other local haunt is a western bar (like the movies) that caters mostly to the engineering folk. Also, there is a Benigans, Fridays, and Outback; as well as KFC, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, and Domino’s. The people I’m with here are a bit more on the reserved side when it comes to eating, so I’ve had a lot more western food than I thought I would; however, whenever the opportunity has arisen, I’ve gone and had some Korean food.
The Korean style of food is reminiscent of fondue in technique, but fairly unique in taste. Their claim to fame would most definitely be Kimche, which is one of the most awful things I’ve ever forced myself to eat. It is essentially fermented cabbage (think sauerkraut), but in addition to the pungent aroma and flavor that yields, they douse it with a healthy amount of pepper. Korean food is most certainly more spicy than Japanese, which has made me a happy camper. I have had Bulgogi a few times, which is essentially marinated beef strips grilled on the skillet built-in to the table. This is served with sliced cloves of garlic, onion, and mushrooms (my Korean hosts have often pointed out that the mushrooms they use are clearly phallic looking). Then you have a bunch of side bowls with sauces and vegetables on the side. I particularly enjoyed the little pumpkin pancake I ate last night (very sweet, almost like a potato pancake consistency). Korean beef is either from Australia or Korea; I do not think it is up to snuff with most beef I’ve had in the states, and obviously this means it isn’t even in the same realm as the Kobe beef I’ve described in the past.
In accordance with Korean tradition, I drank my fair share of Soju, which is similar in sound to Japanese ShoChu, but only about half of the alcohol content (20% vs. 40%). Even though it is less alcohol, I feel the flavor is a bit stronger. At dinner with my hosts, they each came up to me during the early portion of the night with their glass asking me to hold it; then they’d pour a glass and expect me to down it straight up. Luckily, there were only 5 of them, because I had so much so fast that my stomach was trying to fight back. I guess now would be the appropriate time to talk about sitting and pouring conventions. As in Japan, the Guest sits across from the doorway, and the hosts sit closer to the door. How you pour is much more formal in Korea though. Age is very important; so the younger of two people will pour and/or hold their glass with two hands. The older person is allowed to use just a single hand. Also, you never fill your own drink. When you see the drinks of others emptying, you fill them up without being asked; and they of course pay the same favor to you. So I must warn you, do not always finish your drink if you’re thinking it may be your last; they will just fill it back up, and you’ll be back where you started!
My favorite part about being in Korea is that I have a studio apartment rather than a hotel room. It isn’t huge; but I cannot tell you how much it sucked having no chair, refrigerator, microwave, etc. for an entire month. Even though it is much more comfortable to live in, I still try and get out exploring my surroundings. This past Saturday I went with a group of people I’ve met since being here on a hike up a mountain to a Buddhist Temple. There was basically a single-lane asphalt road that went all the way to the top, but we hiked about a third of the way along this very awesome creek. It was fun to do something physical other than walk up and down stairs in buildings, or along city streets. After the creek, we went and got the car to take us up to the top of the mountain. It was a pretty incredible drive; if we would have hiked all the way, it would have taken all day, and I’m pretty sure I would have given up at some point because it was pretty steep for the last third or so.
The temple was amazing. I was unable to take pictures inside, since it is considered disrespectful to take pictures while people are praying; but the outside was just as incredible. There were 3 main buildings, and they just started construction on the fourth (it was destroyed previously during a war, they didn’t know which one). The intricate detail of the roofing and painting on these buildings was simply amazing. I was told the roofs have no straight lines because straight = evil because only non-straight lines are found in nature; this has a certain sense of irony since only man creates straight lines… Paintings were found on the walls of all the buildings, and from my rudimentary knowledge of Buddhism (I took “Asian Mythology” my freshman year of college), I could see they were depicting some of the core beliefs through fables.
The main temple had a near life-size Buddha sitting with some of his pals. They let me go inside, and I watched some people pray, and how they did it. Basically, they walk in, bowing a bunch, and then they go from a standing position to kneeling directly into a fetal-esque position. While in this position they raise their hands above their head as if offering something to Buddha. Then they reverse this movement exactly until their standing again and they bow and push up to their toe-tips at the same time. This bow/prayer is then repeated 2 more times. Lastly, they bow as they exit the temple backwards.
Overall, I’d have to say I’m enjoying Korea much more than Japan at this point. Most likely this is because of the abundant supply of conversation available from the other “gringos” out here with me. Also, things are just a bit more relaxed and friendly out here. I know I went into great detail before saying how kind the Japanese were, but it just doesn’t compare to the Koreans. I’d still recommend going and experiencing both, so you can make your own judgment.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
I Think I'm Turning Japanese
posted by JayBandit @ 7:06 AM,
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My life here basically consists of working, sleeping, eating at restaurants, or aimlessly wandering. The last on the list has provided me with some memorable experiences. For instance, last night I was walking around the Harbor, and I came across a gentleman singing quite possibly the world's most well-known song; but something didn't seem right...:
YesterdayAll joking aside, the guy had a decent voice for a street performer, and I thoroughly enjoyed his "interpretation" of the song. I've seen quite a few people selling their wares on the banks of the harbor, but he was definitely the most entertaining thus far. This evening I saw a gentleman juggling things that were engulfed in flames, but I only got within about a quarter mile of him. Apparently we're in the festival season in Japan, so this weekend there has been an endless bout of performances by what I can best describe as groups of people dressed as if they were competing dojos in the Karate Kid. They perform dance routines much like you'd see a bunch of cheerleaders do here in the states (I know they get mad if you call it pom pons or cheer-leading...but I forget which way is which). They have been quite a bit of fun to watch, and my favorite part is listening to the Mortal-Kombat/Dance-Dance-Revolution music that plays in the background. The best is when they have small children also performing in the group. I don't know why, but it is just entertaining to see kids performing in dance acts; that is all I can say. There are also a few guys that do paintings that appear to be in Kanji, but honestly, it could just be scribbles and I wouldn't know that difference.
Rove was such an easy game to pray
Now I need a prace to hide away
Oh, I berieve
In yesterday
Speaking of which, I guess I should give you a lesson in Japanese scripts. Although little is written in English (Rōmaji), all the major streets, subway stops, etc. are written in it, so that is how I'm able to get around without crapping my pants every day. The Japanese also borrowed from the Chinese, which is where they get the more complex Kanji characters. Their other syllabaries are called hiragana, and katakana. It should go without saying, but I only can even begin to comprehend rōmaji, let alone the other scribbles. My favorite city/subway stop that I have learned to pronounce pretty clearly is called: Chūōichibamae...and no, I don't know what that means (although, ichiban means the first...)
I love it here; there are so many beautiful women here that if I don’t see some drop-dead gorgeous dame at least once every fifteen minutes, I start going into anaphylactic shock...luckily that has only happened twice thus far. The hardest part is trying to distinguish how old they all are; they all appear to be much younger than they actually are. I've come to the realization that as long as they aren't wearing school uniforms, odds are that you're good to go. I'd still suggest asking for some sort of ID before you try anything potentially incriminating. As I mentioned before, most of them are quite short. They attempt to make up for this by wearing stilettos...everywhere. Whether it is walking a hard day through a mall, or riding a motorbike, they have those things on. I'm not complaining by any stretch of the means; I'm just saying that has to hurt at the end of the day. As with women world-wide, the Japanese dislike their god-given uniqueness, and attempt to achieve the polar opposite. Therefore, if you see light-skinned women in the states tanning everywhere, you see that same demographic in the land of the rising sun walking around with parasols preventing their skin from getting any darker than their natural pigment will allow.
There have been a few I've seen so far that I've had an impression on. Mostly, I think it is the fact that they just see me and start giggling; however, they react best when I say something to them in Japanese; many of them are genuinely impressed that I can say anything other than thank-you (see Japanese lesson from the last update). In fact, I met the future "Ex Mrs. Jaybandit" last Tuesday evening at a restaurant with some other friends of my mentor, who also happen to be contacts at our supplier. Her name was Aya...::sigh::. I don't want to get graphic, however, she had a nice body...if you know what I mean. She was our waitress, and as they say, the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. After some beer, and a few bottles of Sake & Shōchū, I was telling her I thought she was Kir-ei (pretty). Luckily, I retained enough of my wits to avoid my new friends from telling her I wanted to get married. However, they did get her to put her name down on the back of one of my business cards. Alas, as luck would have it, she didn't speak a lick of English...so I decided to move on.
As I alluded to last time, sitting down at a table can be a daunting task; however, you just have to follow a few simple rules. The first and only rule is to not sit down until you see where other people are going to sit themselves. This makes it easy, because 9 times out of 10 they just end up telling you where to sit down. Basically, the philosophy behind the ordering of seats is that the most important person will sit at the chair farthest away from the door; this may be the head of the table, or it might be the center of the side...so beware! Then it is like a pyramid with the next tier of importance sitting on both sides, and then cascading around until there is no more room. Then the underlings sit at chairs alongside the walls. Being that I've been the guest each time, I've sat in the good seats most times.
Eating can also be a chore. It is considered rude to pour yourself a drink, and you are supposed to fill the drinks of others. This does not seem to be practiced all the time, but it does happen, so you should be aware. Slurping, something I've been taught since birth is incredibly rude, is considered very polite, and silence is considered rude while eating noodles or drinking soup. You'd be surprised how hard it is to slurp after being raised to do the opposite your entire life. Then there are chopsticks...I don't see what the big deal is, I'm "fluent" with them at this point, and I was about 90% before I ever set foot off the plane, but that's me. If you're not used to them, you'll be in for some interesting problems. The two rules with chopsticks are not to point with them, or even with your fingers, and put them so they stick out of your food (that is the symbol for death, and therefore isn't looked upon lightly).
It really isn't that hard though, so don't get the impression that this is a lot of work. Overall, the most important thing over here is just to be conscious of what is going on around you, and follow suit. Even if you make a mistake (and believe me, I have...I have a nasty habit of pointing with chopsticks), as long as they are aware that you're trying to be polite, you'll get off easy.
Labels: Japan
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I'm Big in Japan
posted by JayBandit @ 4:39 AM,
,
Konichiwa Bitches!
That means, "Good Afternoon Bitches!" in Japanese, which I'm saying since it's Saturday afternoon here in Kobe, Japan…yes I am in the future, and you better not try to wrap your head around that, you might get a headache. I thought I'd send out a bit of a FYI on how your favorite QA guy is doing over in the land of the rising sun. For starters, as my subject line indicates, I'm a giant human being over here. I mean, I know I'm a big guy to begin with, but I'm at least a few feet taller than most people when I'm walking around. Alright, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration, but I am taller than most of the people here though, and a lot paler too…little children all stop, stare, and giggle when I walk past; strangely enough, I'm sure some of you will note that this happens in the states as well.
I had some Kobe beef last night, and it is everything people say it is, and about 100 times more. It is so tender that they don't even give you a steak knife; you can slice through it like butter with, coincidently, a butter knife. It is also not very cheap, for 400 grams (about half a pound), it runs nearly $100. As for the other meals, they rock as well. I have just been walking into whatever restaurants look interesting, and getting something off their menu. The guy I'm with told me he hasn't been to the same place twice, so we've been keeping up that tradition since I've been here. If you were unaware, I can't speak or read Japanese, which makes it difficult to pick things off a menu if there is no picture. Therefore, I have been applying the random pointing strategy at most restaurants. So far, it has not led me too far astray; although some of the dishes looked downright awful before I partook in the goods.
This morning I was at Mitsubishi's
I don’t know what you guys would plan on doing if you went to Japan, but the first thing I knew I had to do was visit: China Town! Yes, there is a pretty large
The Japanese per capita must have the most dispensable income on Earth. There are malls EVERYWHERE; including 3 very large indoor malls within a block of my hotel. Because of this large amount of money, they buy a lot of random crap; which is clearly indicated by stores that just sell random knick-knacks dispersed throughout outdoor malls. There are blocks and blocks of outdoor malls with various stores specializing in everything from women’s lingerie (always white women in the ads), to jewelry, to bags, to baseball caps (which no one wears in public…), to excellent little specialty food shops. Their style of advertising is definitely in-your-face. There are crazy colors and lots of sounds trying to get your attention. I went to the equivalent of a Office Max and Best Buy combined; I made it to the 12th floor before I got bored and started going back down. I think they are so large because it appears they don’t invest in “back rooms”; it appears that all the merchandise is simply out there on the shelves. But don’t plan on coming here to buy things! Everything is expensive compared to the
The people here are great; painstakingly polite, and most have a great sense of humor as well. They're not big into "personal space" so on the subways and trains, they have no problem cramming into tight corners and pushing you out of the way. But they're not being rude; it's just how it goes. They are also definitely the cleanest people on the face of the earth. I have seen exactly three pieces of litter in all of
Have you ever seen the cover of the Beastie Boys' Hello Nasty album? Well, that is what my hotel room is like. There is room to get around, but the closet is a glorified broom closet, and the bathroom has a 4' tub (American tubs are 5' or larger), a tiny sink, and a toilet appears to be smaller than the smallest toilets I've ever seen. As a testament to their tendency to be technologically adept, my desk end that faces the bed has the thermostat, alarm-clock, and light controls all built in. They also have a key shelf at the door that "knows" your key is there because of magnetics, and will turn nearly everything off (including the A/C) while you are gone. When you've been walking around in the heat all day, the last thing you want to do is come home to a stuffy hotel room; using my engineering prowess, I quickly came to the determination that American coinage works just as well as a room key, and I've been basking in cool climes ever since.
As for my lack of Japanese skillz, I have been picking up words or phrases intermittently. Here are the only words you apparently need to know in order to get around here:
- Ohayou - Good morning (It's not just a state anymore!)
- Konichiwa - Good afternoon
- Konbanwa - Good evening
- Gozaimasu - added to seemingly any Japanese word, it turns it into a super-word that has the super-powers of being very polite and courteous when compared to the original. (I'm pretty sure you could kill someone and get away with it by saying gozaimasu as you're doing it).
- Sayonara - Goodbye
- Arigato - Thank you
- Domo - Thank you
- Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto - what I think of every time I say thank you while in
- Kanpai! - Cheers!
Speaking of Cheers, the Japanese are not exactly the world's best drinkers. I went out with about 12 people the other night, and the head of the group was challenging me with some of his heaviest fares. Needless to say, I downed their most expensive and potent Sake like it was a Coors Light, and hit it off well with the locals. This leads me into one of the more interesting aspects of Japanese culture; sitting down at a table. If you ever come here for business, make sure you are NOT the first one to sit down, as there is a method to their madness. I won't go through all the details right now, but probably in a future post I'll enumerate on the intricacies of it.
I'll be fielding questions about the Japanese life for my next installment, so be sure to drop a line with whatever curiosities are swooning about in those heads of yours (I'll talk about the women and other good stuff next time). I’m going to stop here because I feel like I just had diarrhea of the mind.
Sayonara Gozaimasu,
JayBandit
Monday, July 23, 2007
It finally happened!
posted by JayBandit @ 2:15 PM,
,
As you can see, our blog header is missing. When I graduated over a year ago, I was wondering when the great University of Illinois would cut me off from my free hosting of files... Apparently, that day has happened recently (even I don't read this blog everyday, it has been months since anyone updated anything.
Anyway, nothing really exciting to report other than that. I think I may start writing again, but we'll see how bored I get at work...
Monday, February 26, 2007
I Invented the Internet!
posted by JayBandit @ 10:21 PM,
,
Sorry folks, I thought I was Al Gore there for a minute (I know he didn't say that, but he implied that he made the Internet possible, which is just as idiotic). Speaking of our former vice-robot, I came across an interesting hypocrisy this evening.
On a side note, I find it amazing that when Al Gore does a movie about global warming, all of a sudden a plethora of information regarding his past just shows up all of a sudden showing that he's always been a fervent supporter of decreasing our emissions, blah, blah, blah. When will you people wake up and realize that they're just piecing together random votes from his years in politics to make him look like everyone loved him back in the day. I've seen tyrants that are more beloved than this guy.
If you're looking for other hypocrites out there to lambast, I suggest Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, and Ronald Reagen Jr.
Labels: Al Gore, Hypocrisy, Internet
Monday, February 12, 2007
My Take on the Grammys
posted by JayBandit @ 6:16 PM,
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As I've stated countless times before, I'm a huge fan of music. I recorded the Grammys in crystal-clear high definition and watched it without commercial interruption last night along with 20 million, or so, of my fellow Americans. Overall, I have to say it was quite possibly the most entertaining awards show I have ever watched...well actually its a close 2nd to the year that the Beastie Boys performed Intergalactic and Mix Master Mike off of the album Hello Nasty on the MTV music awards.
Anyway, Gnarls Barkley was awesome. I honestly thought this group was something concocted and artificial like the Gorillaz (not a criticism, I LOVE them; it's just that they aren't a real "band"). The high notes that guy hits are simply amazing. That along with the airline uniforms made it quite an awesome performance.
Rascall Flatts totally sucked playing Hotel California and Life in the Fast Lane originally by the Eagles. I was excited to see the Police playing again; however, it was a big bust because Sting started getting a bit too flamboyant with his guitar solo during their only song, Roxanne (They should have TOTALLY played Message in a Bottle instead...oh well, I'll catch them on tour).
Stevie Wonder is so cool, I can't even express it in words. He was at the microphone by himself, asked for a B and a G, and then did his own little introduction for Corinne Bailey Rae, John Legend, and John Mayer (I'm assuming he ad-libbed it on account of the blindness thing...plus, he wasn't even looking at the prompter).
I can't believe I'm going to say this...but...I can't do it. Therefore, I will quote one of my favorite scenes from High Fidelity to voice my opinion:
Rob comes out of the stock room and walks toward the counter where Dick and Barry stare at the tape deck like two concerned doctors, listening to a song that is raw and moody and lyrical -- Minor Threat meets Brian Eno, if that's possible. Rob joins them in contemplation.Haha. Perhaps it is fitting that one of their names was Justin, because Justin Timberlake simply knocked out the crowd, along with me, with his performances. I am now hopelessly addicted to My Love and Sexy Back. My final Kudos goes out to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who covered the crowd with paper "snow" during Snow (Hey Oh), which was by far not the best song off of Stadium Arcadium. At least they won best rock album...ROB
What is this.
DICK
It's Vince and Justin.
ROB
Who's that?
BARRY
The little skate-fuckers.
ROB
No way.
BARRY
Yes way. It's really...
Rob and Dick look at him, ready to pounce
BARRY
(pained to say it) It's really fucking good.
This brings me to my more critical comments of the evening. I almost threw up when I heard James Blunt performing You're Beautiful for the 1 billionth time; talk about the grammys people really being behind the 8-ball on that one. Although, for a split second when he looked into the camera I thought he was singing to me.
The Dixie Chicks. There...I said it; apparently saying their name gives them the notion that all of America has forgiven the ugly one for saying she was embarrassed that President Bush was from the state of Texas. First of all, I don't care what she said; I don't like their music, and I could care less what their politics are. However, from a purely economic standpoint, I think that the ugly one is quite possibly the dumbest performer in history. Now this is a long and illustrious list mind you. We have Mike Tyson telling people he takes medicine so he doesn't eat their children; and Michael Jackson explaining that its perfectly normal to sleep in the same bed with 8-year-old boys. No my friends, we can now put the ugly one at the top of the list. She is a country singer, which means she is performing for red-staters, and I don't know a redder state than Texas. It is the equivalent of a surgeon telling you that he didn't like to "attend class" or "study" much in medical school.
The Dixie Chicks ended up going 5 for 5, including best album, record, and song of the year. Wait...I almost forgot, what the hell is the difference between an "album" and a "record"? I was always at the understanding that they were synonymous. If someone can answer this question, you will have my undying gratitude. At this point, I can only surmise it was a ploy to add a "big" category to the show so that it may one day reach the 4 hour mark. Ok, back to my point. The ugly one was making comments every time they won as if the act of winning a music awards show based on the voting of 11,000 people in the music industry (Probably just as politically unbiased as the Film Actor's Guild) was equivalent to the American people standing up and saying "we forgive you." The best thing is that they have fake TV-land marriages to hide their man-hating lesbian relationships. Their hugs after the announcement after every win were the most awkward I've seen. They were holding on for dear life as if they were trying to scream, "See! No lesbians here!"
The show ended a true "sweet & sour" moment. Sour because Don Henley was not able to simply act his predetermined lines off the prompter like the countless other stars (hell, he could have just said a single word; Prince, pulled it off). Sweet, because Scarlett Johannson was wearing a low-cut shirt and made a point of squeezing her goods together for the sake of men everywhere.
One last note: I could watch Shakira dance all-day, every day, for the rest of my life.
Labels: Celebrity Politics, Dixie Chicks, Grammys
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Software Patch to Help Environment
posted by JayBandit @ 7:05 PM,
,
I came across a post on Engadget, one of my favorite tech news venues. There are at least 25 posts a day written by cool people with a sense of humor about everything from cell-phones, to video games, to cool alarm clocks.
Anyway, the post I am refering to discusses a simple software fix for most modern cars, which will increase fuel efficiency, and therefore decrease fuel consumption. Although the fix is only at a maximum of 2.6%, that is still a massive amount of savings when extrapolated along the millions of cars in the world.
I think this is just the type of ingenuity that people need to utilize to solve big problems like "global warming"; rather than the current trend of pointing fingers and doing nothing, these people actually came up with a practical idea that will definitely help the environment.
Labels: fuel efficiency, global warming, software patch
I'm Not the Only Nonconformist Out There!
posted by JayBandit @ 1:40 PM,
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Kevin sent me this column regarding economics and global warming by the Sun-Times Mark Steyn. Steyn tries to shed light on how complicated the science surrounding this highly-politicized issue really is (the one paragraph is complex enough to even confuse the engineers here at Entropic Order). He also makes an excellent point that even if the Kyoto treaty was signed back in the day, we would still have no way of knowing the progress it has made; however, the United States would be suffering from catastrophic losses in GDP in only 10 years! His final suggestion is that we should simply adapt to the situation rather than trying to "fix" it by going backwards (Something Tet has mentioned before).
Thursday, February 08, 2007
I'm Not Heartless...Well, Not Totally Heartless
posted by JayBandit @ 9:24 PM,
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Ok, if anyone knows how I feel about Nancy Pelosi, they'd probably best describe it as "hateful, with a touch of loathing." And, they would be correct. However, today I come to you in defense of that nasty-looking, whiny, pain-in-a-realist's-ass. Nancy lives in San Francisco, and she is now the Speaker of the House; this means that she flys from Washington, D.C. back home on a regular basis. Since 9/11 the Speaker has been put under higher security since they're next in line after the Vice-President to take over the presidency.
In a nutshell, she needs a plane to get her back and forth in a reasonable time period. Dennis Hastert, my great representative for so many years back in Elk Grove Village, Illinois, took a small commuter-sized plane. Die-hard republicans are making a big stink because they think Pelosi should do the same. I hate to burst their bubble, but Illinois is a bit closer to D.C. than San Francisco...4 times farther in fact (Chicago to DC - 710 miles; San Fran to DC - 2840 miles). Perhaps the GOP doesn't put as much emphasis on geography and/or common sense in their "No Child Left Behind" stance.
Just forget about this issue; there are plenty of other real issues to lambast Pelosi for; why waste time looking at a silly issue like this.
Labels: Nancy Pelosi
Football, Men Kissing, and Phallic Objects, OH MY!
posted by JayBandit @ 3:32 PM,
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I was hoping I wouldn't have to revisit the vast majority of Super Bowl XLI for at least a few decades; however, politically correct cry-babies have forced my hand. It seems today that just by breathing a person can inadvertantlly piss off an entire demographic of the world's population. My favorite examples of this are when someone is alleged to do something for completely false reasons (Hilarious Example). So, being that the Bears-Colts game was the 3rd highest viewed show of all time, there were plenty of people watching for even the slightest sense of innuendo or sarcasm.
First, there was the rather harmless Snickers ad showing two guys working on a car. The one guy puts a Snickers bar in his mouth so its hanging out, and the other guy is so drawn to the candy bar that he starts to eat the other end until they end up kissing a la Lady and the Tramp. After they realize what they've done, they freak out and rip out handfuls of chest hair in order to do something "manly". Personally, I thought it was a hilarious commercial based on the fact that it is exactly what two guys would try and do if found in that sort of predicament. Well, apparently I'm just outrageous for having that sort of opinion (Has anyone ever noticed that GLAAD never seems to have a smile on their face unless everyone else is unhappy?...interesting).
To a lesser extent, people were up in arms over P
rince's halftime show. Once again, I enjoyed this part of the extravaganza. It was the first act the Super Bowl has had in the current century that didn't utterly suck ass. Prince played a more tame selection of his music than even I, the eternal pessimist, thought he'd play. To top it off, he played some awesome covers of Creedence Clearwater Revival's Proud Mary, Bob Dylan's All Along the Watchtower (made more famous by Jimi Hendrix as his only official hit...yes, he is a 1-hit wonder), and the Foo Fighter's Best of You. If you sit back and think about it for a minute, you might actually appreciate how awesome of a muscian Prince is to play music spanning 40 years and multiple artists, but still rock out hardcore. All he could have done more in my opinion would be to whip out a bit of When Dove's Cry, but I can't complain. Apparently, many people had penis on the mind as they watched his guitar solo during Purple Rain. I know that Stephen Colbert voiced his outrage, "They knew that they were dealing with a lustful, pansexual rock 'n' roll deviant." He also mentioned that the sheet hid (not enhanced) Prince's "demonic guitar phallus."However, both of the aforementioned incidents pale in comparison to the greatest travesty of Super Bowl XLI...the Chicago Bears offense. The Bears' defense kept Peyton Manning's offense to only 2 touchdowns and 3 field goals; a whopping total of 22 points. Rex Grossman and the Bears managed to score 3 touchdowns - two for themselves, and one for Colts' Kelvin Hayden via interception - and one measely and rather meaningless fieldgoal. Luckily, I recorded the game in HD on my TV, and I am slowly but surely getting over this fiasco by watching Devin Hester's opening kickoff return for a touchdown 10-20 times a day (I hope to be in the single digits by the end of the month). The best part of that clip is Peyton Manning throwing off his cap like a 5-year-old.
I guess the moral of the story is that we all can find something wrong with any situation. The thing that makes a person an adult is ignoring the small meaningless things and addressing the more important issues. Sadly, it appears we are in a world of little kids, and not in a society of adults.
In other news, Anna Nicole Smith is dead. Who would have thought that illegal drugs in large doses would do something like this to a person?
Labels: Bob Dylan, Chicago Bears, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Devin Hester, Foo Fighters, Jimi Hendrix, Prince, Snickers, Super Bowl XLI
Monday, February 05, 2007
Flyleaf: Christian "rock" or Christian RAWK?
posted by JayBandit @ 4:23 PM,
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DISCLAIMER: Buy highlighted music at your own risk. Just because I have an awesome knack at identifying amazing music doesn't mean that your brain is able to comprehend how awesome it actually is.
I don't remember when I first heard it, but I do remember wanting to hear the song I'm so Sick by Flyleaf a 2nd time immediately after listening to it for the first time. I ended up getting the song, and it wound up in the wallows of my iTunes collection. Months later, I heard this song on the local Pittsburgh rock station, 105.9 the X, and I was like "Oh yeah...that song!" I immediately jumped out of bed (I listen to the radio for about 15-30 minutes each night before I pass out...when sober) and looked it up on iTunes to see if the rest of their album was worth purchasing. Perhaps I was sleepy, but I didn't find anything very exciting, and just went back to bed.
Weeks later, Amazon was running a special where you buy 4 things for the price of 3, and as I have said before, I buy stuff on Amazon constantly. One of the highlighted items for this sale was the self-titled debut album by Flyleaf. I figured, "hey its only $10, why not," and bought it along with: 20th Century Masters: Eric B. & Rakim (which will most likely lead to another post), the movie "What Dreams May Come" (AMAZINGLY visual movie starring Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Robin Williams), and the book "Shadow of the Giant" (the 8th book in the Ender's Game series...yet another post to come).
Well, long story short (too late), this album is pretty damn good. It has some killer tracks on it, which I still can't get enough of a week after getting the album. My favorite song still has to be I'm So Sick, but Fully Alive, Cassie, and Breathe Today also get my kudos. This isn't a 5-star album by any means; it starts off rocking hardcore, but then drifts in and out of sounding as if its a bastard child of Evanescene and Hoobastank.
I have a personal rule about when I buy albums, and when I just obtain them through legally questionable means. The album must have 50% ("awesome" songs count for double) of the songs good enough for me to listen to any of them randomly on my ultimate iPod list without going "oh God, not this song again." This album (11 tracks) has 3-4 awesome songs, and has a few others that I don't mind; therefore it easily passes.
I began reading about Flyleaf at work, and I found out that they are a Christian rock band! This totally blew my mind at first, because almost all Christian rock sucks a big one. Then I realized that almost every song had some deep message, and some songs were more blatant than others ("Do you believe in God?" is the chorus for Cassie...I guess I'm slow). I must declare this the best mainstream Christian rock band I've ever heard, which is not that hard considering the only other two that I can think of are Creed (who peaked for me years ago), and P.O.D. (they should be called P.O.S.)
Now that I think about it, I could come up with a coolio grading system based on my personal scoring system, with a 200% being a perfect (or just divide everything by 2....); I would also have to consider negative points for total stinker songs. But PTI is almost on, so I'll do that later.
In other news, I got my tickets to Coachella 2007 (MASSIVE 3-day music festival in Indio, California) in the mail this week, and I'm 1000% stoked to see Rage Against The Machine reunited!
Labels: Coachella, Ender's Game, Eric B. and Rakim, Flyleaf, Rage Against The Machine
Argh!
posted by JayBandit @ 4:14 PM,
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Well, DA BEARS were apparently who Dennis Green thought they were; however, we almost got our asses crowned last night...but it wasn't in the stars. To the Chicago Bears, I say thank you for an awesome season, and I wish you all the best of luck next year. Early '07 prediction: DA BEARS win SUPER BOWL XLII. At least the Cubs start reporting to Mesa, Arizona later this week for spring training. Now I can dedicate my free-time to another team destined to depress me week in and week out.
In more realistic news, I've begun to rethink this blog a bit. After pouring in countless hours into research for some of these posts, people don't seem to be responding with the ferver that I originally hoped for. My good friend Billy Joe Mills has suggested going more controversial on many occasions, but I don't want to turn into some ignorant political pundant like those hacks over at Urbanagora (haha, just kidding guys). I figure I need to do something to encourage more readership, more participation, and more content; therefore, I've decided to open up the content considerably beginning with my next post. I will be commenting on music, movies, food, video games, etc. Pretty much anything that suits my fancy.
Labels: state of the union
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Great News!
posted by JayBandit @ 4:13 PM,
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I am a huge proponent of online downloading of MUSIC (emphasis on MUSIC). I think that this new court decision will potentially lead to some great court cases that some day will allow us to download free and clear once again.
For those that care, I think that music should be legal to download online because it was free for decades via the radio recorded onto various media. Also, there was legislation when the VCR first came into being for the same reasons, yet it was always decided that it was legal to record whatever you wanted for personal use.
Obviously there is no real way to track what you do with your "personal" copy of something, but that is their problem. In a more logical and scientific method of reasoning, I present the following:
1) You don't get any hard copy with a digital copy purchased or downloaded online. This means that you could lose said copy in a heartbeat if your computer gets destroyed for any number of reasons.
2) The quality of a genuine CD audio file is MUCH better than an mp3 file.
In conclusion, we are now paying a buck a song (which is more than they'd cost on most CDs) for a lower quality piece of audio, and of course there is no hard copy included. It simply doesn't make any sense.
Any Questions?
Sunday, January 07, 2007
A Sad Day in the World of Instant Foods
posted by JayBandit @ 2:50 PM,
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R.I.P. Instant Ramen Creator
Don't Piss Off A Tigger
posted by JayBandit @ 10:55 AM,
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Tigger Beats Child Into Submission Honestly though, this is total crap. Take a look at the pictures on the left-hand side when you look at this article. The kid is a teenager, and I'm sure Tigger was patting him on the head or something equally harmless. Even if they are telling the truth, if I were the kid or the father, I'd be embarrassed to admit that I got my ass kicked by some dork in a Tigger costume.
I don't mean to support big business or anything naughtly like that; however, when the father says, "oh, well we only have part of it on film," it makes me think that this is just a ploy to milk Disney for some money.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Way To Suck Ass Chicago
posted by JayBandit @ 10:21 PM,
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US Emergency Communication Rankings
Sunday, December 17, 2006
And You Thought Your Roads Were Bad...
posted by JayBandit @ 4:50 PM,
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Crappy Roads in Crappy Places
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Thanks, I Couldn't Have Done it Without You
posted by JayBandit @ 11:12 PM,
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In case you haven't heard, I'm the TIME: "Person of the Year"!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Wow, I Better be Careful
posted by JayBandit @ 3:28 PM,
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Guitar Hero Potential Career Destroyer
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Endning Poverty = Ending Terrorism?
posted by JayBandit @ 7:20 PM,
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Nobel Laureate Makes a Good Point
My good friend, Billy Joe Mills, made a similar point at his blog a while back...why isn't he winning a nobel prize? (When I find the post, I'll link to it...)
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Finally, Sanity Returns to Politics
posted by JayBandit @ 4:54 PM,
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Trans Fats Banned in NYC Food
My favorite part of this article is how they quote a pushcart vendor named "Abu" for his take on the situation, "You need a little trans for good taste. I think this is a very bad idea." Apparently, Abu must have gotten his food chemistry degree at night when he wasn't working the pushcart. Just for your information, Trans-fat hasn't always been in our food, but its content increased when automation of food production increased; mostly due to hydrogenation of plant oils. This is why all-natural peanut-butter is much healthier for you than Jif or Skippy.
Aw hell, now I have to write a whole post on this! More to come in the near future...
Hang Ten for Electricity!
posted by JayBandit @ 3:42 PM,
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I was browsing my "mechanical engineering" magazine this month and the cover story caught my eye right away: Creating Electricity from the Roll of the Oceans. We may be able to solve our insatiable energy demands by riding the waves of the Earth's oceans. Although tragic, the tsunami that occurred in the south pacific nearly 2 years ago clearly displayed one fact: moving water contains a lot of energy. What if we started harnessing that energy to produce electricity? Water covers over 2/3 of the Earth's surface, so at first glance this seems like a pretty ingenious idea. Although this might sound wacky, it's actually extremely simple...in theory.
Other than photovoltaic cells, almost all electricity is generated in the same manner; by induction. Turbines in power plants convert the flow of high-pressure steam into energy by causing magnets to rotate within gigantic coils that generate the electricity; this is called an electric motor. With each additional cycle more electricity is generated. Well let's take that same principal, but this time instead of spinning, the magnet would be reciprocating back and forth inside the coil on springs. That is the basic principal behind it all. (NOTE: This same principal has been talked about for use in automobiles to try and harness some of the energy that is wasted while it bounces along; also known as regenerative damping. Of course it is first important to understand how a shock absorber works.)
In
Projections only have this form of energy generation supplying 10% of the world's demands; however, 10% IS 10%. Also, there are specific locations that these wave-farms will work best. For example, this isn't the best solution for a tiny lake that has little wave activity. Personally, at first glance the Portuguese example seems to be rather inefficient. Hydraulic devices require a massive amount of energy for movement, which is why they're used in heavy duty machinery. I would think that a simpler spring-loaded damper buoy would work better.
Finally, I saw this website while browsing for research on this article and thought I might discuss it for a short moment. Any "breakthrough" item that provides little to no factual information is just a gimmick until it is proven in multiple real-world applications. Although this device sound quite intriguing, I find it quite disconcerting that the FAQ section does not even give a simple guesstimate on electrical output. This means either they don't know, or it's not very much. A supreme example of this type of device is the water fuel cell, which doesn't really exist. It is called a perpetual motion device, which means that it defies at least one law of science. This is because the inventor is lying or hiding the fact that they add more energy into the system one way or another. And whatever you do, don't send these loons your money, because they WILL ask you for some.
In other News, John Leguizamo is on "My Name is Earl" this week, and if that isn't enough reason to watch, the Office will be on shortly after it concludes.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Well There Goes $24 Million Tax-Dollars
posted by JayBandit @ 9:36 PM,
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F-18 Crash
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Interesting...
posted by JayBandit @ 8:10 PM,
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As a sidenote....I hate Dick Vitale's voice more than Hitler.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Pardon The Interruption
posted by JayBandit @ 4:10 PM,
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Sorry for the lack of posts this past month. Kevin has been studying for the LSAT, and I've been quite busy with work and I've made a few trips back to Chicago.
Something of real substance to come in the near future...
GO BEARS!!!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Internet Sales Taxes: Legal, Viable, Plausible?
posted by JayBandit @ 5:01 PM,
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With the Internet being a hair over ten-years-old, in its modern form, millions have now adopted it into their everyday lives. They regularly check their email, keep up on current events, and even pay their taxes. Furthermore, a growing number of people feel comfortable enough to purchase items online on a regular basis. According to Forrester Research, consumers spent over $79 billion dollars online last year which amounts to approximately 3% of all retail sales (Wasserman). Online retail has officially made it to the big-time. With that in mind, and the economy continuing in a recessionary trend, many in congress feel that this is the perfect opportunity to pass legislation to reap the benefits of this online business boom. There is an equally diverse group on the other side of the fence declaring that they think taxation now may have grave consequences on the future viability of the Internet as a means of business.
In addition to the quarrel over the viability of these proposed taxes, there are also battles ragging in congress and beyond whether the taxation of online sales is even legal. Defendants of a tax-free Internet often quote the most well known law regulating interstate commerce, Article 1, Section 9 of the U.S. Constitution, "No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State. No preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear or pay duties in another." Although the syntax used seemed impervious to interpretation, now in the information age the state lines are not just something separating masses of land.
The fierce war over the legality of internet taxation will eventually calm down, and many assume that the taxation will begin. When it does the most important questions of all will need to be answered. They will pertain to the logistics of simplifying the tax code of over 7,500 taxing entities in the United States. The states have been working together to create a simplified tax code just as long as their adversaries. The process will surely involve many difficult compromises between the states of the union; however, the thought of billions of dollars coming into the deficit-ridden budgets should make for great motivation.
The laws currently setting the stage
To get a proper understanding of the situation, it is necessary to observe all the legislation pertaining to the subject. Politicians quarreled over the rules of interstate commerce for many years. In 1992, the U.S. Supreme Court decided that retailers had to have "significant" presence in the state before they could be forced to collect sales taxes. The word "significant" is one of opinion, so the question now is whose opinion is it? There is obviously no regulation of language, and therefore both sides interpret the law in the way that best suites their cause. Those against internet taxation say that this law proves them right because the businesses in question should only have to tax consumers in states where they have a base of operations. Bradner mentions that that decision was in regards to mail-order houses, and not e-commerce. Mail-order houses locations are clearly defined, but the same is not true for online store. This brings up an intriguing question, where is the Internet? Many would say the answer is everywhere because any person with a computer is able to reach the internet. This is probably the most important decision that has ever affected the Internet. If and when the decision is made, it will affect all court cases regarding the Internet's role based on its location.
Rep. Chris Cox, R-Cal., and Sen. Ron Wyden, D-Ore., are two of the biggest advocates of a tax-free Internet. The duo penned the original moratorium against any new internet taxes in 1998, and also worked successfully to extend the moratorium in 2001. The current moratorium ends this November, so the team has introduced a new bill called the "Internet Tax Non-Discrimination Act," which will turn the moratorium into an outright ban on any new Internet taxes (McCullagh). The congressmen are quick to point out that their legislation does not prevent any online taxation, and that they only want the online consumer to be taxed equally to the conventional consumer. Whenever someone purchases something from an out of state dealer they are required to pay a use tax, which is to the state they live in. This also goes for items purchased online. However, many people tend to evade this law, or might not even know about it. Since there is widespread disregard for the use tax, states only put effort into policing the largest rule-breakers, i.e. the most money.
Although many might not like to agree, the taxation of Internet sales are completely legal. What is more troubling is that the taxation should have been going on due to the use tax. This is just one of the many ways that the online community has abused loopholes of the legal system, although many are inadvertently. The Internet community may see a stricter enforcement of these laws if new legislation in support of Internet taxation is not passed. This seems likely because legislators are convinced that there is enough money out there to make this a viable battle. The next question is how much is actually out there? Perhaps even more important is a way to track all of the money.
The Infamous Tennessee Study
The pro-tax entourage has repeatedly quoted a University of Tennessee study as their factual backing; while, in fact, it is extremely speculative. The study says that a total state and local government revenue loss was $13.3 billion in 2001, and that it will reach $45.2 billion in 2006, and $54.8 billion in 2011. Many have cited the previous speculations as losses due to the lack of Internet taxation, but in the very same study they define new e-commerce loss - a loss on goods that would have otherwise been purchased the over-the-counter method - which is an estimated percentage. These loss estimates are $7 billion in 2001, $24.2 billion in 2006, and $29.2 billion in 2011. These more accurate loss estimates are nearly half of the former estimates, thus making the new taxation less attractive.
The Tennessee study estimates that business-to-business (B2B) transactions represented 92.6% of all e-commerce activity in 2001, and that that share will increase to 95% by 2011. This is a critical piece of information because B2B transactions are not taxed to foster growth of the economy. The B2B tax-immunity is something that will not change because it is a founding idea that economy of the United States is built on. Therefore, the estimated tax losses are actually around $520 million in 2001, $1.79 billion for 2006, and $2.16 billion 2011. These new numbers make the taxes hardly worth fighting for.
In the study's defense, they make it apparent that their numbers are embellished. The study states that there are many differences among the different states which make it difficult to get accurate results. Different regulations regarding digitized information are one such area. An interesting point is brought up regarding online auction houses, such as e-Bay. There are business-to-consumer (B2C) sales that go untaxed, which adds to the losses; however, they are likely to be minimal. Overall, the study makes a lot of assumptions to get viable data. Every assumption compromises the integrity of the information; however, this is still the best information available.
Even if the money does not appear to amount that much at this time, online sales have only scratched the surface. In the future the amounts will become even more eye-catching for legislators trying to balance their budgets. Therefore, the legislation will eventually gain enough support to pass. Yet, this is still not the last hurdle in the race. The United States has perhaps the most complex taxing system in the entire world. In order make this dream become reality, the politicians will have to tame the beast that is the tax system.
The Streamlined Sales Tax Project (SSTP)
This proposed SSTP is not just a quick fix so the states can start collecting from online retailers; on the contrary, it is a comprehensive system that will overhaul a large part of the tax laws of all states to certain standards and regulations. It will affect everything from diapers to telecommunications. This will be no easy task. There are thousands of differences between each of the states' individual tax laws, and this is not even including individual municipality tax laws. Nevertheless, there is a strong support for this project from the states, which is once again due to the current economy.
The first step for the SSTP is to create clear-cut definitions of products that every state can agree on.